


Even if it hurts, I'll do it for you

by HopesGirl



Series: To Love is easy, and so is to Hurt [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga-centric, Sad, Smoking, Swearing, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopesGirl/pseuds/HopesGirl
Summary: Yoongi falls in love with Hoseok, it's slow, creeps up to him, but even after going through acceptance, confession, rejection, and doing everything in his power for Hoseok, he gets nothing but hurt in return.





	1. We only accept the love that we think we deserve

**Author's Note:**

> Please understand that this is a sad story, so pretty much all the characters have shitty personalities. THIS IS A FANFICTION. I'm sorry if the character with the name of your favorite idol or celebrity has a bad personality here, but please understand that this is not real life and I love all BTS members as well as Harry Potter and Game of Thrones characters. Thank you :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi makes his first mistake, which leads him into isolation.

Yoongi sighed as he looked at his empty room. It was only the first day of college life and he already had a headache. He had said goodbye to his mother and his sweet sweet grandmother who came to drop him off all the way to his university made sure he settled okay in the dorm, miles away from home. His dad hadn't come, hadn't visited the campus once, didn't even look at him after he been had selected at the university and enrolled for course, didn't wish him luck. But it was okay; his dad had spent 17 years never once coming to his school to drop, pick up or visit, he guessed college would be no different, even if he were to live all by himself in a different state.

 

By the time night fell, two other roommates had taken their place in the room. In the four bedded dorm, it was now him, a Chinese kid named Kun and the other kid named Vernon with origins from Britain but born and brought up in Pennsylvania itself, and the fourth bed remained empty.

 

As days passed by, Yoongi settled in a routine, making a few friends who had similar interests like him. Even though he came to the university to study software engineering, his heart lied in music. But being a nobody from nowhere, with professors for parents, he had lost all hope in finding a career in music. Nevertheless, he ended up making friends with similar interest. There was this guy from electronics called JB and another Korean guy Seungcheol from communications that he came across in the line for the food, discussing some recently dropped album with such details that had caught Yoongi's interest.

 

JB and Seungcheol were roommates and Yoongi ended up spending most of his time in their room for the first month of his first semester in college, that is, until the fourth bed in his dorm was occupied by one Jung Hoseok. Hoseok's presence was nothing short of a storm in the room, he came in with big famous fantasy novels, cool posters, and a brain and mouth that can talk about anything and everything making everyone want to talk and engage with him. 

 

Yoongi looked at his own side of the room, there were no expensive novels, heck he didn't even have the necessary laptop and he was here to become a software engineer. It wasn't his fault, he had informed his dad, but well, he was already studying here on a hefty student loan so who knows how much time it'll take before he even has the bare minimum requirements of a someone who studies software. He didn't know much about anything, poor general knowledge, and a tone that was naturally stiff leading people to take his normal tone for rudeness and prefer not to interact. He had tried, to be more polite, 'learn how to talk softly' just like everyone had advised him to, but being brought in a home where people either spoke only out of fear and submission or only yelled and insulted others, it was hard to impart sweetness in speech.

 

So, Yoongi wasn't surprised when Hoseok, with the energy that only the sun could possess, came up to him at night and asked him what he was watching in his phone. When Hoseok sat himself beside on Yoongi's chair, squeezing his way in to make space, taking Yoongi's phone to recommend 'this really amazing YouTube channel' that Yoongi must check out and Yoongi - Yoongi who is 'I will put a red ribbon to define my space in this room and no one dare step into it or try to disturb me' - showed no signs of protest, that should've been the first sign. But since it came as no surprise when Yoongi's response made him seem unfriendly and soon Hoseok thought he was better off with someone friendlier, someone with the same vibe as him, Yoongi shrugged it off.

 

Coming from a family where your parents always find a reason to bring you down, sometimes you end up being an insecure kid with daddy issues and in Yoongi's case you end up sugar coating those issues with pretentious attitude. Even though Yoongi knew he was nothing special, or very handsome-looking, he carried himself with a proud aura, a fake one, but proud. And that attracted all sorts of rats from the gutter, all the stupid girls who just wanted attention and gossip, who flocked around him, praising him for his soft pale skin and faked awe at his music skills. But spending all his life in the lack of love from where it should've come from, he took it from anywhere that it came from. Even if that anywhere was in form of one Pansy Parkinson.

 

It was funny, Yoongi's relationship with Pansy. It left the whole university in shock that the pretty, mysterious, sort-of genius boy had chosen the manipulative bitch out of everyone. They thought Yoongi was crazy to leave all his friends and acquaintances to go waste it all on her, even when he knew that all she wanted was to use him. In the end, Yoongi got tired of her 'Why won't you kiss me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not girlfriend material?' rants and gave in. It was Yoongi's one of the most pathetic kisses. But it didn't matter. By the time Yoongi ended it with her, it was the end of their first semester, everyone had already formed an opinion and moved on, leaving Yoongi all alone with the consequences of his own actions - isolation. It was Yoongi's own stupidity, he knew it.

 

'I guess, we really do only accept the love that we think we deserve', he thought bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only the beginning, lots of story development yet to come :)


	2. What does the heart want? It doesn't matter, for it'll never get what it wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi meets someone new, but at that same time he cannot deny what he feels for Hoseok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the updated tags :) Enjoy reading!

Melisandre Red was a nobody. She watched from the sidelines the lives of her famous friends. She liked to observe people, it always amazed her how everything was a part of a system and how with the right strategy you can manipulate it to get you where you want. She watched her friend roam around with that Min kid. He was handsome, pretty snake-like eyes, pale skin, and rosy lips, lips that sat on the ones belonging to the bitch she called her friend, Pansy Parkinson. She watched their relationship slowly descend into chaos, watched how that bitch made sure Min had no one even when he dumped her; 'Pansy was smarter than what I give her credit for', she thought listlessly. Now the pretty boy was all alone by himself, scribbling god knows what into that little book of his under the shade of trees on the side of the ground. He was vulnerable, it showed it in his eyes, like a lost little lamb, a delicious lamb at that. 'Huh, maybe Pansy was not that smart' Melisandre thought as she made her way towards the boy.

 

Yoongi didn't know how to feel about his newly developed friendship with no other than Melisandre Red, his ex-girlfriend's best friend. But she was the only one who understood what Yoongi had gone through, someone who was ready to put all the rumors aside, listen to him, try and envisage what had happened to him and going as far as to support him, even when he was talking against her very best friend. But Melisandre said she understood, and he was grateful for that.

 

Now that Yoongi didn't have a toxic girlfriend to consume all his time but had also lost the trust of his previous friends, he spent most of his time either talking to Melisandre or in his dorm- which meant with Hoseok. Of course, Kun and Vernon were there too, but it was hard to notice anyone else when there was Jung Hoseok shining as bright as the sun in front of you.

 

Things changed after that. Even after that one weird interaction in the first semester and all the rumors that came by with Yoongi, Hoseok was the first to approach Yoongi. And this time Yoongi listened to everything Hoseok had to say. They quickly became friends as Hoseok started to share his interests with him and Yoongi would stay up all night learning about the things Hoseok loved so that he would have something to talk about with Hoseok. He reasoned that he needed to, since Hoseok is one of the rare people who seemed to give Yoongi another chance at friendship. What Yoongi missed was that, Hoseok might be his one rare friend, but Yoongi wasn't Hoseok's. Hoseok had a lot of friends and almost everyone wanted to have a conversation with him since he was witty, intelligent and always ahead of everyone in knowledge. At times like that, when the world basked the brightness of Jung Hoseok, Yoongi had Melisandre, till when he would be with the sun again.

 

Yoongi should've seen this coming. He had heard Kun and his friends talking about the fight in the girl's hostel. He had heard Pansy's name but since he didn't want anything to do with her, he had simply turned around and left his dorm for the library. Though the next day, when Melisandre called him to meet her behind the college building he should've been at least a little prepared for what was to come. The whole college knew, that Melisandre Red fought with Pansy Parkinson for Yoongi Min.

 

It was Friday night in the hostel and the girls had gathered to study together and finish their assignments for the weekend as soon as possible so that they can enjoy the rest of the weekend. In the midst of laughter and snarky comments, it wasn't a surprise when everyone started to gossip. Pansy took this chance to kiss and tell about her time with the infamous Yoongi Min.  Melisandre knew that if she wanted Yoongi's attention this was the time to prove, and she started a fight with Pansy. Everyone mistook it for Melisandre's care and genuine concern for Yoongi, spreading the news that Melisandre had fought for Yoongi. Everyone was fooled, including Yoongi Min.

 

Yoongi was stunned as Melisandre calmed down after crying. As soon as Yoongi had reached the place Melisandre had called her she had taken Yoongi hands into hers and told him everything that happened, how she couldn't stand Pansy speaking all those things about him. She recalled the whole scene while sobbing and after she was done, she looked at Yoongi in the eyes, while still holding his hands and said, "Yoongi, I love you." Yoongi gasped. It shouldn't have been this shocking, he should've seen it coming. He didn't know how to react but he knew that he did not feel the same way towards her. So he was honest and told her as much. Melisandre's face turned red with anger at this, but before Yoongi could notice, she put on a sad face. It hurt Yoongi to hurt her that, after all, she was there for him, when no one was.

 

Soon, the only thing that Yoongi looked forward to was his late night talks with Hoseok. As he got to know more about him, he noticed how different he was from everyone he knew, there was contrast in personality between Melisandre and Hoseok. But he considered both of them his friends, and even though he knew they would never get together, he enjoyed his time with the both of them. He and Melisandre were still friends, but Yoongi was wary, he didn't want to hurt her more than he already had.

 

Until one day; Melisandre called him to meet her outside the campus and to wear something nice, since they were going somewhere. Yoongi did not feel comfortable but went along since he didn't want to hurt her feelings any further. Just as he was leaving his room he saw Hoseok and Kun coming towards the room. Hoseok had a bright smile on his face, and what seemed like a slight blush on his cheeks. He was immersed in a conversation with Kun, laughing loudly at something Kun said and hitting him on the shoulder, when Kun put his hand around Hoseok's waist and pulled him closer while still laughing. Something burned inside of Yoongi. He never had that type of intimacy with anyone, not his friends, not his ex-girlfriends. He had never known what love was, in any form.

 

Melisandre wore a red one-shouldered crop top that hugged her body and ripped black jeans with black boots. She looked hot, Yoongi thought as he waited for her to reach where he was standing. He smiled and she came and stood in front of him, "You look nice", Yoongi said. Melisandre raised her eyebrows, a slight smirk formed on her lips as she said, "You're not too bad yourself Min", and her eyes raked over Yoongi's form. He was wearing a loose plain white t-shirt, and a leather jacket on top of it, light blue jeans ripped at his thighs and black boots, along with a thin choker and small silver loops in his ears, "Very hot", she complimented and Yoongi ducked his head to hide his blush. "Where are we going Meli?” he asked. She stepped closer to him and took his hand in hers, "Shush honey, no questions today, let's just enjoy, okay?" and Yoongi did not like the glint in her eyes. He did not know where that pet name came from and what was the meaning of all this, but then he remembered Hoseok- handsome, lithe, smiling, held close and securely in Kun's embrace -and he nodded, "Okay".

 

It was extravagant, everything Melisandre had planned for the day. Yoongi knew that she was rich, heck, the entire college did what with her expensive clothes and lifestyle; but Yoongi had never experienced just how rich she was, until today. She took him to a tourist resort, a five-star hotel with pool and everything, a luxury that Yoongi had never seen this close up in his life. While they sat for lunch, Yoongi didn't even dare look at the menu and simply let Melisandre order, too embarrassed he won't know what to order. When she asked him for what drinks he would like, Yoongi's eyes went wide. He was still 17, turning 18 in a few months, but still underage. He politely refused to get anything to drink, a little afraid that Melisandre would be offended. She frowned a little but didn't say anything. After the waiter left with their order, she gently took Yoongi's hand in hers again, "Hey, why do you look so tensed? Do you not like all this? I just wanted to have a good time with my best friend" On hearing the word 'friend' Yoongi visibly relaxed. He did not want to feel obliged to Melisandre since he did not ask for any of this in the first place and he did not want to upset her by rejecting her again. "I'm good, it's nice, I'm just hungry I guess", he lied but she fell for it. She laughed and squeezed his hand, "Alright baby boy" and _Yoongi just wanted to leave_.

 

After lunch, she suggested they go to the top of the resort to watch the sunset, and Yoongi apprehensively went along. It was a bad idea, he should've known. Yoongi felt so dumb, felt like this was all his fault when Melisandre wrapped her hands from behind him in a back hug as they looked out on the sunset, "Isn't it beautiful?", she said and Yoongi felt her breath at his nape. Yoongi gulped nervously, what was wrong with him? Isn't this what he always wanted? For someone to treat him well, to give him all their attention and love, to give him intimacy? Then why did he feel so wrong, so uncomfortable in his admirer's, his best friend's, his lover's embrace? ‘Why is there resistance in my heart even when everything I ever wanted is being given to me laid on a silver plate?’ he thought as he turned to look at Melisandre. And when she turned at him, he let his eyes flutter close as she leaned to kiss him, held closely in her embrace, warm but somehow not feeling secure.

 

When he returned back to his dorm room that night, he was greeted with the sight of Hoseok and Kun sitting close on the latter's bed, lights closed, Vernon fast asleep, while they both were awake, talking in the light of the lamp. Hoseok turned to look at him and gave him a beautiful blinding smile, and Yoongi felt his heart skip a beat. He walked towards his side of the room with an uneasy feeling in his stomach, not noticing Hoseok leave Kun's side to come towards him, while Kun went to sleep. He arranged his things back on his table and turned around only to have his breath caught because Hoseok was there, the golden light of the lamp falling gently on his face, breathing so close to him, "Hi Yoonie", he said and then sat himself cross-legged on Yoongi's bed, and only then Yoongi remembered to breathe.

 

As always Yoongi let Hoseok talk about anything and everything that he wanted to, giving him his full ears and attention, losing himself in Hoseok's perfect eyes and trying not to stare at the pretty mole on his upper lip. Yoongi was jolted out of his daze when Hoseok started talking about homosexuality. Yoongi shifted a bit, getting a little restless as he waited to hear Hoseok's opinion on the matter. He prayed silently that Hoseok wasn't a homophobe and he let out an audible sigh when Hoseok revealed that he wasn't. In fact, it turned out he had quite some friends from the LGBTQ community and that he took parts in supporting various movements.

 

Taking in this new information, something sparked inside Yoongi, something similar to a ray of hope. For a moment he forgot all about today, all about Melisandre and the kiss. For a moment he just let his heart take over, and with a quivering voice and newly found courage he looked Hoseok in the eyes and asked, "Seok, would you like to go out on a date with me?"

 

Hoseok stopped talking and looked at him with wide eyes, an amused look crossing his face, "Yoonie, I'm not gay", Hoseok answered, he seemed contemplative for a second before an apprehensive look took over his face and he added in a mocking tone,

 

"Besides, even if I were into boys, I'd still reject you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like said before, everyone in this story is either shitty or has issues :(


	3. He'll never be yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi tries to move on from Hoseok, but in process gets emotionally dependent on Melisandre. Shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: slight sexual assault/forcing

It hurt, but Yoongi was okay with it, 'It isn't like I can force him to like me', Yoongi reasoned with himself. He decided it was best to not tell Melisandre about this, no point in making a big deal out of something when his feelings aren't even reciprocated. 'Besides', Yoongi thought, 'Melisandre really loves me' and so Yoongi continued to smile and nod as Melisandre stood in his arms while addressing her friends and other people about their new relationship. What surprised Yoongi was when Hoseok came in later that night, to congratulate Yoongi. "Yoonie, you player!" Hoseok exclaimed with a twinkle in his eyes, "You almost had me fooled last night", Hoseok laughed. Yoongi was confused, "Fooled?" he asked. "Yeah man, when you asked me for the date. Ha! And to think someone like you could dare ask", Hoseok was joking, Yoongi knew that, but it hurt anyway. "But I'm glad you are with Meli now! She's fucking hot dude and loaded too. Nice catch man", he winked at Yoongi and laughed. Yoongi managed a small smile, "Yeah, she's great. Thanks Seok."

 

 

It frustrated Yoongi to no end. Spending all day with Melisandre, even though it wasn't much different since they had always been good friends and Yoongi enjoyed her company, it started becoming worse when Yoongi had to cater to her as a boyfriend and then come at night to the sight of Hoseok waiting for him on his bed to either watch some show together, or sometimes Yoongi just listened to everything Hoseok had to say till he feel asleep on his shoulder. It ate Yoongi up from the inside because Melisandre and Hoseok were different like night and day, it got hard since he held both of them close to his heart, and made him feel guilty because he thought he loved the wrong one. One day they were hanging out with Melisandre's friends instead of spending time alone. She knew some of the seniors from the music club and Yoongi was excited to meet them, maybe he'd be able to make some new friends, or even join the club. Meeting Melisandre's friends went better than what Yoongi had expected. They joked around playfully and included Yoongi in the conversation. At one point of time, he noticed that Melisandre had gone silent, so he squeezed the hand that he was holding with Melisandre the whole time and asked, "Meli, is everything okay?" to which Melisandre only looked at him, before pursuing her lips into a thin line and looking away. Yoongi swallowed, 'Had I said something wrong? After all, they are her friends, and I have always been bad with words. Maybe I should have just kept quiet', he thought.

It came as a surprise to him when one of the seniors, Namjoon or RM as everyone referred to him as invited him to the music club room that night to 'talk about music'. As he accepted the invitation and bid goodbye to everyone, Melisandre wrapped her hand around his arm and dragged him towards the hostel. Yoongi was charming with her friends, as Melisandre observed this, she felt anger flare up in her chest. Yoongi had become a nobody, it was because of her that now people wanted to talk to him, not because he and his stupid music - did that even qualify as -skills? She watched as Yoongi talk to her friends and charm them with his soft demeanor and smile stretched gummily, confidence slowly building in the boy who had experienced the harsher edge of the knife. She had to do something, she had to keep Yoongi his, she held tightly onto his arm and turned to look at him as she spoke in a condescending tone, "Babe, what was the tone out there?", Yoongi looked surprised, she could see the light flicker of self-confidence in him break through his eyes as she added, "I know that you choose to be an introvert and not talk to more people, but please honey, they are my friends," she sighed, "if you're going to hang out with RM and others tonight, I need you to be careful of your body language. You're my boyfriend" she finished and kissed him slowly on the lips before leaving for her dorm.

 

 

Yoongi contemplated whether he should even go through with this, should even go to the club room, but then 'Meli asked me to be more polite, it would be rude to not go after being invited' he thought and resigned himself to getting ready. It was a good choice to not stay in the room, he guessed, as he saw Kun and Hoseok arrive in the room late at night. He didn't know where Vernon was, in fact, he hadn't seen him all day. As Yoongi was leaving, he was stopped on his way outside the room by Hoseok, "Hey pretty boy", he slurred and Yoongi noticed the strong smell of alcohol on him. He was shocked to know that not only Hoseok had consumed alcohol, but he had also done so to the point that he was so wasted. He turned his face to look towards Kun who was standing a little behind Hoseok, seemingly staring at Hoseok's ass. Kun had red eyes which meant that he too was intoxicated but at least didn't seem as wasted as Hoseok. Yoongi felt a shiver run through his body as Hoseok put his fingers under Yoongi's chin and tilted his face towards him as he stepped closer to Yoongi, "Yoonie, did you know what I heard today? That you're a baby boy", he said with a twinkle in his eyes, bringing his face even closer to Yoongi's, "Is that true? Is that what Meli calls you when you two fuck?” at this Yoongi's eyes went wide. Kun, having decided it was getting too much, came up behind Hoseok and putting his hands on Hoseok's waist, pulled him closer to his own chest and letting his fingers seep beneath Hoseok's t-shirt, "I think it's time for you to sleep, Yoons needs to be somewhere Seokie", and Hoseok whined, "You're no fun Kun! I was just teasing Yoonie about how he fucks Meli. Wait, is he going out at this hour to fuck her? Hey Yoons, my man! I'm so proud of you, go get the pussy!" he yelled as Kun dragged him inside towards his bed.

Yoongi was feeling so much at this point, he didn't know what to think, 'Why was Kun touching Hoseok like that?', 'What was Hoseok doing drinking so much?', 'Why did Hoseok care what Meli and I did?', 'And who said that I have had sex with Meli?'. With this baggage of jumbled thoughts, he made his way towards the music club. "Come in", said someone from the inside when he knocked on the door.

 

 

Yoongi didn't know what he was expecting when he entered the music club but it was certainly not this. The club main room looked posh, with high-end equipment and stereo system that did not look as something provided by the university for a simple extra-curricular club. There was a recording booth/studio in the corner and a comfortable leather couch and a couple of stools. But most of all what he was not expecting was a bunch of seniors sprawled on the couch and the stools and what Yoongi assumed to be weed, a weed cutter, a bunch of cigarettes, along with some rolling paper on the table and a lit joint being passed around in the circle. "Yo Min!", RM greeted him and he stood up from the couch to give him a side hug and proceeded to introduce him to the room, "Guys, this is Yoongi Min, Meli's boyfriend, and I think his genius mind in music would be a perfect addition to our club!" the room greeted him with cheers. "Yoonie, wait can I call you that?" RM asked and Yoongi nodded unable to speak anything, a little overwhelmed by everything, "Great! You can call me Joon" he smiled, "Anyways Yoonie, this is our little club, the producers and lyricists and rappers, Donghyuk aka Supreme Boi, Mino, Zico, and Kidoh. And these are our dear vocalists Jimin Park and Jin Kim" he finished while still looking at Jin who smiled at RM softly before turning to face Yoongi, "Hey man, good to have you here! Come, sit with us".

Yoongi took a seat on the stool opposite to him as he took everything in. He knew these names, these were the names everyone in the university and outside knew. They were famous people of their university and Yoongi and listened to their covers and other songs on Sound Cloud. Yoongi couldn't believe he was sitting among these people, he couldn't believe he was sitting in the same circle as Jimin Park. He looked at Jimin, who turned out to be the only sober one in the room. He was handsome, soft looking as Yoongi noticed, and he had an angelic voice that everyone absolutely loved in their university. Jimin was checking his phone and his eyebrows furrowed as he stood up, "I need to leave, it was nice meeting you Yoongi", he said hardly even looking at Yoongi as he turned around to leave the room, "Bye fuckers!" he yelled and left, and the rest of room hummed in acknowledgment while Kidoh started lighting another joint. He offered it to Yoongi while asking, "So tell us what you've got, 'genius'". Yoongi flushed at this, "Uh- I, um, I don't smoke, and um, I haven't really uploaded anything that I made since I don't have any pieces of equipment but I have some songs recorded in my phone and a bunch of lyrics in my book". He took his book out which was enthusiastically grabbed by Mino as he and RM hunched over his book to read his lyrics while Donghyuk asked, "What do you mean you don't smoke?" Yoongi shrugged. He had turned 18 recently, he refused to disclose his birthday to anyone, including Melisandre, since he didn't want her to make a fuss. "I've never tried anything before", Yoongi informed. Zico who had been staring into space zoned out till now looked at Yoongi, "You haven't tried anything?", he smirked, "You really are a baby boy, aren't you?" and Yoongi bristled at that pet name. "Here man, take this, I'll teach you" Kidoh offered, and Yoongi swallowed nervously. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to try. He knew the addiction that came along with this stuff. It must've shown on Yoongi's face because Zico added, "It feels like you're in clouds" he added poking at his forehead, "All the thoughts in your head, everything that bothers you, nags at you - gone. And the only thing that remains is pure bliss", Zico finished. Besides him, Jin laughed, "Dude, just let him be. If life hasn't given him enough shit that he needs to forget, let him chill" Jin finished with a yawn as he stretched his hands above his head lazily, letting his head drop on RM's shoulder, who was still immersed in Yoongi's lyric book. Yoongi thought about life having given him shit, remembered everything that has happened in these past years, his dad's face, the disappointment clear in his eyes, his mother's silence and pity, even Pansy's nagging and manipulation, Melisandre's constant reprimanding and lastly, Hoseok's words, 'I'd still reject you' echoing in his ears. "Yeah, I wanna try, teach me" as said as he took hold of the burning joint.

 

 

Soon Yoongi’s life became a blur of smoking and writing lyrics holed up in the music club. With the help RM and Kidoh, he started producing some songs and uploaded them on Sound Cloud. At first, he thought of using a stage name similar to Namjoon and Donghyuk, but he decided to let these new attempts and raw works be published as Yoongi only. He thought maybe one day when his music is better, he’ll start using a stage name. What Yoongi didn’t expect was for his songs to spread like a wildfire in the whole university. Hoseok comes to him one night and says, “Yoonie boy, I didn’t know you could rap like that! Where was all the talent hidden all this time, huh?” he asked while smirking down at Yoongi and Yoongi didn’t know what to say. It still surprised that after everything, only Yoongi felt awkward in talking to Hoseok, while Hoseok carried on as if they were still the bestest friends in the world. As Yoongi became popular in the university, Hoseok started inviting him to parties. At first, he refused, but then his seniors from the music club also wanted him to join at such events he obliged.

He only smoked marijuana wherever he went, but if he picked up a cigarette at a party while watching Hoseok dance and grind with Kun and his other friends, it was only to mend his broken heart.

 

Melisandre couldn’t believe this. She was the one who picked Yoongi up when no one wanted him, she was the one who showered him in everything that he doesn’t deserve, and she was the one who got him to the music club in the first place. Now, he was the one getting famous, he was the one being invited to parties everywhere. ‘I have to get the attention on me’, she thought, ‘He has to know that he listens to me’. But Melisandre didn’t know what to do. She had tried to spread the rumor that she and Yoongi had fucked but with Yoongi’s innocent personality and clean image, it was hard for people to believe her. She thought of actually having sex with Yoongi, but he wouldn’t do anything more than making out a little, nothing too racy either. Her preplextions came to an end when she caught Yoongi in his music club, smoking up. ‘Not so goody and innocent are we?’ Melisandre thought as she approached Yoongi.

As Yoongi, smoked by himself in the music club room, he felt guilty. He knew his feelings for Hoseok were not going away no matter how much he tried to move on. It didn’t help that Hoseok remained oblivious, not acknowledging the past, or Yoongi’s feelings as he made himself comfortable in Yoongi’s life, claiming the spot of ‘Yoonie bear’s best buddy’ as he liked to call himself. He thought about his precious girlfriend. Sure, Melisandre would tend to get a bit possessive at times but that was only because she loved him,right? Yoongi thought she loved him so much and Yoongi felt so guilty for not loving her back, for not giving her what she deserved. Just at that moment, someone entered the room. It was his girlfriend. He smiled softly at her, but then remembered he was smoking, ‘Right’ Yoongi thought, ‘She doesn’t know yet’. He waited for her reaction as she made her way over and sat on his lap, taking the cigarette from his hand and taking a drag for herself, “You didn’t tell me who smoked babe?” she said while tucking some stray hair out of Yoongi’s eyes. Yoongi visibly shivered as he watched Melisandre take a long drag of the burning cancer stick looking at him with an evil glint in her eyes. ‘I control you, Yoongi Min’, she thought, ‘You are going to be my little boy always’.

 

 

 

 

Yoongi exhaled as he put the bags down on the floor of the hotel suite. Melisandre had found that Yoongi’s birthday passed and she had been upset, complaining they didn’t even celebrate Yoongi turning an adult. Here, right now, is exactly why Yoongi hadn’t told her about his birthday. Melisandre had booked a suite at a grand resort facing the sea for the weekend. Yoongi had refused the plan as soon as he heard it. He was not comfortable with the idea of spending nights at a hotel room with his girlfriend. He was not stupid, he knew what was to be expected, heck, everyone did. Vernon even wiggled his eyebrows and wished him luck when he was packing. But Melisandre pulled the, ‘don’t you love me’ card and he knew he didn’t have a choice after that.

“Honey, do you wanna shower first or should I?” she asked in a sickeningly sweet voice. Yoongi brisked, ‘surely she would give me more time before she jumped on me, right?’ He replied. “No, I’m good”, at this, Melisandre exhaled loudly, and a grin pulled at her face that Yoongi did not like. She stepped towards him and put her hand on his shirt, her face so close they were breathing the same air, “I’ve been waiting for this for so long Yoonie”, and kissed him deeply. ‘Huh, I guess not’, he thought as he kissed her back.

In no time they both were stripped out of their clothes, Yoongi lying down with Melisandre straddling his hips. He looked at her gorgeous body, perfect curves, smooth skin, and beautiful hair. And Yoongi didn’t want anything to do with her. Here he was lying naked in a hotel suite, with a beautiful girl naked on top of him, and he wasn’t the slightest bit turned on. He closed his eyes as he felt a headache coming. Melisandre took this as his submission and happily went down on him, kissing his stomach lightly and slowing but surely moving towards his cock. Yoongi shivered, he wanted her gone, and he didn’t want her hands on him. He willed himself to think of something good. He remembered chestnut brown eyes, heart-shaped smile, and flat lean chest, thin but chiseled biceps. He thought of the man he loved but he was broken out of his imaginary bliss, as he felt Melisandre’s mouth on his cock. His whole body stiffened, he couldn’t do this. Felling his discomfort, Melisandre looked up to him, “Babe, you gotta relax”, “I can’t”, Yoongi replied. Melisandre sighed as she sat up to sit on the bed and face Yoongi. She had predicted this. She knew Yoongi won’t sleep with her. That was why she came prepared. Putting on a sweet smile, she said, “How about we take a smoke break? That’ll help you relax babe, okay?” Yoongi nodded, anything that did not involve them being intimate was okay for him. He watched as Melisandre took out some rolled joints from her purse, “That’s not cigarettes. We are smoking weed?” Yoongi asked. “Yeah, my cousin got this amazing marijuana from California, Pineapple express, it’s amazing! Here, smoke this” she handed him a joint and held out a lighter. Yoongi took a long drag, and he the effect was instant. Usually, it would take at least half a joint for a proper buzz, and a full joint or more to stop thinking completely. In just one drag of pineapple express, he felt like floating. ‘Damn’, he thought.

‘It’s working’, Melisandre cheered mentally. She watched slowly as Yoongi’s whole body relaxed. ‘With him like this, high and out of his mind, I can do anything’, she thought happily. Yoongi knew he was gone, he could feel the weed dragging his consciousness into a mushy pile of nothing. But he was determined to not let Melisandre have the upper hand. He was going to get out of here. He was going to get out of this relationship.

With newly formed courage, he put out the joint and gently pushed Melisandre on the bed. ‘She wants to be intimate with me’ he thought, ‘she will get what she wants’ and he sat between her legs and kissed her there. “Oh,” she said surprised.

Yoongi watched as soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, slept on. He had made her cum so hard by eating her out that she had passed out right after. By the time she woke up, Yoongi had checked out of the hotel and put their bags in the taxi, ready to leave, “Good morning babe, let’s go back now, okay?” He said as he kissed her on the lips. Melisandre was confused, but she didn’t push any further. She hadn’t gotten what she wanted, but she had enough. When she woke up alone and saw her bags gone, she was angry. She had planned to have sex with Yoongi and then kiss and tell the whole university that she did so with the famous pretty boy. But now, she was going to ruin Yoongi.

 

 

 

 

Yoongi tried to calm his racing heart down as he stormed towards the college building. He couldn’t believe Melisandre would do this. He waited for her to finish her class and texted her to meet him by the hills. She had replied to meet him by the college building and they’d go to someplace nice from there. Yoongi had planned to confront her about the ugly gossip that spread across the college -that he was a loser who couldn’t get it up, who couldn’t even do it with his own girlfriend – in private. But seeing Melisandre standing on the portico of the college building with her friends, laughing without a care, while everyone else stared and eyed Yoongi down, he couldn’t take it, “Meli, we need to talk, let’s go” he cut to the point. On hearing Yoongi talk in a demanding voice to her in front of everyone, it hurt her ego, “What do you want right now? Can’t you see that I’m talking with my friends? Whatever you have to say, get it out here only”. Yoongi blinked, he couldn’t believe that the woman would pretend as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Yoongi lowered his voice, he didn't want to make a scene, and it was not fair of Melisandre to never give him a choice, his voice quivered as he accused, “Why did you do this to me?" Melisandre was shocked. She had not expected Yoongi to confront her, to go against her, call her out, to speak for himself, "Do what?" she snarled, "I only spoke the truth. You couldn't even do it with your own girlfriend, what kind of loser would that make you?". Tears pooled in his eyes again as the woman he thought loved him, cared for him, insulted him in front of everyone. Yoongi's whole body trembled, "Maybe I just didn't want to do it with you".

Melisandre couldn't believe this. She felt her anger flare up when Yoongi said he didn't want to sleep with her in front of everyone. She couldn't let him get away with this. She was the one that pulled Yoongi up, and she can bring him down if she wants to. She chose her next words carefully, knowing where Yoongi was the most vulnerable, knowing that feeling unloved was Yoongi's biggest insecurity, she lied confidentally,

"I regret that I ever fell in love with someone like you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Melisandre OUT, Jimin IN! And also fluff! Well, as much fluff as there can be in this Yoongi's life :')


End file.
